Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
