Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
