I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
