yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
