there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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