we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
