If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
