dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
