I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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