you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
