ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
