why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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