I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
