Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
