I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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