So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
