are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
