But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
