I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
