I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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