i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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