i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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