The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
