I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
