Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
