ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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