porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
