My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
