An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
