i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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