one two three fourrrrnication!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
