Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
