Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
