Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
