My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
