my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
