I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
