Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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