im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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