I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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