Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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