I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
