I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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