to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
