1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
