That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
