i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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