margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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