At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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