there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
