this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck appropriateness.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
