Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
